her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I will pee on everything he values.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
