They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
