Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
