I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
tell me about the fingering
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