they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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