Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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