so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
