Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
