ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
