If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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