I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
