we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
