I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
