with your own penis?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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