Im at strip club and am horny
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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