You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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