I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
that is very illegal...i love you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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