Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
