i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
