My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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