Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
