Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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