it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
