Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
