I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
