It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
