So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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