Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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