69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
