I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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