Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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