Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
