are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
