How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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