Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just found puke in my bra..
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
