ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Randomize
