Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
