this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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