Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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