he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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