Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
