if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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