I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
