So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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