i think i have two assholes
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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