masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
