North Korea, Best Korea!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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