Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My penis needs a shock collar
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
