are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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