I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
